1. bake cupcakes for: Thomas Cardiel! Also Denis Arilan! Also Richenda! Embarrassing attempts to get people I admire to like me are go! Turning up with baked goods and a well thought out insight/question combo is um. My usual strategy on that front. With these three it could possibly work!
2. trust with the keys to my car: Nigel Haldane, the most sensible person in these books.
3. put thumbtacks on the chair thereof: Loris. I bet he's nasty to grad students. Or would be, if universities worked that way in the time frame the world is loosely based on.
4. have a crush on: ahahahaha um. Well. When I was little I actually had the most ridiculous crush on Duncan, it was this little giddy silly flippy thing. So I think I will just confess to that.
5. pack up and leave if they moved next door: There are several. I mean, any neighborhood where Wencit moves in is a neighborhood that will shortly be unsafe. But, alas, I again have to say: Loris. No. Just... no.
6. vote for President (or, again, alternatively support as leader of the party for whom I vote): ...There is no one in these novels who was not either born to privilege or so minor as to lack a name. Or Warin, and I'm sorry, I don't vote for social conservatives convinced they're on a mission from God.

So I guess... Richenda, then. Yes. Were she running.
7. pick as my partner in a buddy movie: Sidana! Just think of the humor to be mined in this situation! Also, talk about Girls Who Get A Raw Deal.
8. pair up: In my ideal The Girls Who Got a Raw Deal Did Not In Fact Get That Raw Deal universe Bronwyn, Rothana, and Sidana make one hell of a power trio.
9. vote off the island and into the volcano: I have never actually gotten over the fact that Wencit apparently coerces his tenants into bed with him. I just. Wow, that is super gross. Wow.
10. wheedle into fixing my MP3 player: ...Probably a pointless endeavor considering. But maybe Duncan could lay hands on it.