Nanni (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tiamatschild) wrote2010-06-28 11:21 pm
tiamatschild) wrote2010-06-28 11:21 pm
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A Day at the Public Pool
The public pool that my cousins patronize is completely awesome. It's got a water slide, a small shallow lane area, a totally fantastic small kid shallow section, and a lazy river. All indoors, all connected.
Sofun.
So! There I was, having acquired an inner tube and gotten aboard, splashing my way to the lazy river. This was taking a while and being a bit awkward, because the pool was busy and full of children and young teenagers who weren't too good about not diving in front of people and whom I did not want to kick in the face. But I was enjoying myself. Lots of laughing and beaming at everyone.
A woman comes up and says, "You look like you could use some help."
I blinked, fended off the side with a foot, and said, "No, I'm fine. I've got it."
Now, the inner tubes that belong to the pool? Have handles. These handles are supposed to be the end where you stick your feet. Being the rigorous follower of safety regulations that I am, I had done just that. The woman said, "I think you need help," reached out, grabbed one of these handles, and started pulling me.
For several seconds all I could think was, "This is a different kind of ablism than I usually get!"
What I actually said, after a brief mental image of kicking her intruded, was, "Ma'am, please stop. I can do it myself, and I was having fun."
She looked like I had kicked her, said "Oh," and waded away.
I, slightly out of sorts, made my way into the current and floated triumphantly onward. Until I got bored and wandered off to play with water spouts and a beach ball.
I suspect she just wanted in on the fun. But I didn't realize that until after the interaction had ended, because she didn't phrase it that way.
Everyone! If you want to play with people, say, "Can I play too?" or "Can I play with you?" Don't say, "You need help," because frankly, you're a lot less likely to get someone to play with you if they think you want to help them, because probably? They don't need help, even if they might be happy to play.
Sofun.
So! There I was, having acquired an inner tube and gotten aboard, splashing my way to the lazy river. This was taking a while and being a bit awkward, because the pool was busy and full of children and young teenagers who weren't too good about not diving in front of people and whom I did not want to kick in the face. But I was enjoying myself. Lots of laughing and beaming at everyone.
A woman comes up and says, "You look like you could use some help."
I blinked, fended off the side with a foot, and said, "No, I'm fine. I've got it."
Now, the inner tubes that belong to the pool? Have handles. These handles are supposed to be the end where you stick your feet. Being the rigorous follower of safety regulations that I am, I had done just that. The woman said, "I think you need help," reached out, grabbed one of these handles, and started pulling me.
For several seconds all I could think was, "This is a different kind of ablism than I usually get!"
What I actually said, after a brief mental image of kicking her intruded, was, "Ma'am, please stop. I can do it myself, and I was having fun."
She looked like I had kicked her, said "Oh," and waded away.
I, slightly out of sorts, made my way into the current and floated triumphantly onward. Until I got bored and wandered off to play with water spouts and a beach ball.
I suspect she just wanted in on the fun. But I didn't realize that until after the interaction had ended, because she didn't phrase it that way.
Everyone! If you want to play with people, say, "Can I play too?" or "Can I play with you?" Don't say, "You need help," because frankly, you're a lot less likely to get someone to play with you if they think you want to help them, because probably? They don't need help, even if they might be happy to play.