(no subject)

[tiamatschild]

I had an appointment with an new psychiatrist yesterday. I am somewhat ambivalent about it.

I mean, see, the thing is - I'm very self aware. I know my fears are generally irrational, and I'm aware that worrying about what people think of me is... ... ...wrong. So I. I don't know, telling me that I don't need to worry about what people think of me because it's really none of my business makes me feel slightly sick. I know it's a failing. I know it's egotistical and -

...I'm pretty sure he meant to be reassuring, though.

Comments

[lotesse]

the same thing happens to me - I know all my buttons and triggers and strategies, and short of taking meds I don't see as there's much can be done with my head by anyone else.

It scares me sometimes, not feeling like I can count on psychiatry as a mental safety net.

[tiamatschild]

*huuuuuugs* I'm sorry.

Yeah, in my case I have a Rogerian therapist who's great at creating a safe space for me to talk it through, because she knows I know what's in my own head, but I needed a new perscription. So. Now I evidently have to work out how to convince New Person that I do, in fact, know my own mind. He did up my dosage, though! That's good!

[aldanise]

Irrational fears are worst because you can't reason them away but that still doesn't stop them from freezing you up and sapping your energy at the worst possible moments. I would...hope that a psychiatrist could understand that. My language teachers certainly do.

I hope the visits get better, if you do decide to stick with him.

[tiamatschild]

He did up my dosage! So he's clearly aware that this is largely a brain chemistry problem. I don't think he understood that I understood that everything I was reciting was symptom and not rational.

(...Although, actually, I am pretty sure that it does matter what other people think of you. What's unhealthy and irrational would be the morbid inability to expect acceptance and the constant self criticism. But we are social animals, and people whom nobody likes are in major trouble, soooooo...)

Thanks. :) I hope so too. I was having an anxiety upswing at the time, so I'm not sure I fully understood everything he was trying to convey.